At some point in your life, you may feel stuck. It’s a messy mixture of being helpless, depressed, demotivated, exhausted, and even feeling worthless. You may even lose the purpose of life, hope, and cease to grow.
It’s like you’re not really getting anywhere. You feel like you’re not able to make a change, and as a change isn’t even possible.
Dear, at this point it is common that you start questioning your own ability to make a change in your life. However, It’s important to remember that feeling stuck is a common part of being human. We all go through periods of crisis. We all feel like we’re on a treadmill at times, doing the same thing over and over again, or can’t even do anything.
The thing is, these feelings don’t last forever, and when you’re feeling stuck, you can always find a way to move forward. All you have to do is find the will to move forward. You have to believe in yourself, and trust that you can make a change.
In today’s post, I will talk about important things that can effectively break this vicious cycle. And, the good news is, these all things require very little work. They’re the kind of things you can do even when you’re feeling overwhelmed and completely exhausted.
1. Your Mind Can Be Your Worst Enemy
Your mind is a very powerful tool. But it is also a very flawed tool. Your mind thinks in a direct line, from point A to point B. Your brain doesn’t know anything about “sideways” or “diagonally”. It doesn’t understand the concept of “subtle”. It thinks in straight lines, and it will try its best to take you with it.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s easy to get stuck in a loop of negative thoughts where the only thing you can see is how bad things are. You can’t see a way out because you’re fixated on the present pain.
In this state, it’s impossible to even see a way to move forward. And that’s why it’s important to know that sometimes you just need to get away from it all and redirect your mind.
A simple trick is to try to think of three things you’re grateful for every day. It can be everything from the air you breathe to the stars in the sky to the people in your life. It doesn’t really matter what you choose, but it’s important to choose something you can’t argue with.
You may feel ridiculous at first, but it will force you to think outside of the box and look for something that is just as important to you as the pain you are currently feeling. Something that you can’t help but smile about.
2. It’s Scientific to Accept Where You’re At
Acceptance is a powerful tool because it brings you to a neutral place where you can make a decision about your situation. One of the reasons people get stuck in the past is that they’re stuck in the past. It’s like being in a room with no doors and no windows. There’s no way out.
Acceptance is the doorway that gets you out of the room and into a new, cleaner room with fresh air. This is what happened to me when I got divorced. I had to accept that my marriage was over and that I had no control over what my ex wanted to do next. I had to accept that we were two different people with different values and different goals. In fact, accepting all this and moving forward was the only option.
3. You Have a Logical Choice to Make
You can either accept the situation and move on or you can spend your time and energy trying to get back to the way things were. Sometimes, this choice is obvious. You get a divorce and that’s it. Sometimes, this choice is not so obvious. You get a divorce and can’t shake the feeling that you’d be happier if you just got your ex back.
When you’re in the middle of a crisis, your thinking gets cloudy. You’re probably not thinking clearly, and you’re making decisions based on your feelings, not your logic. Your feelings aren’t necessarily bad or wrong. They’re just feelings, and you simply need to deal with them.
4. Learn From Your Mistakes
It’s not easy to admit that you’ve made a mistake. But when you do, you free yourself from the burden of the past, and you open yourself to the possibilities of the future. You’re able to take a new path without judgment and without regret.
It’s easy to see your mistakes in hindsight. It’s a little more difficult to see them in real-time. When you’re in the midst of a crisis, your mistakes are all you can see, and they can feel overwhelming. But when you step back and look at your situation from another perspective, you will see how your mistakes have brought you to this point.
5. Use Pain to Your Advantage
Pain is a funny thing. It can paralyze, it can motivate, it can help us grow. Yet, it can also hold us back. When it comes to motivation, pain is your friend. But it only works when you use it to your advantage.
When we’re hurt, we’re more likely to do whatever it takes to avoid repeating the experience. If you’re feeling a level of pain that keeps you from doing the things you love, then you’re at the right place. It means you care.
Too many people feel no pain. This is where they get into trouble. They never learn from their mistakes. They never grow. They’re always scrambling to find the next thing to try, and they never really commit to anything. As a result, they’re always chasing something better.
6. Get to the Root Cause of Your Lost Motivation
Begin by evaluating the situation. Make a mental list of all the factors involved. Ask yourself the hard questions about what’s really going on. Is it truly your passion that has left you? Or is something else at play?
If you’re struggling at work, ask yourself if it’s the work or your boss or coworkers. A troubled relationship, ask yourself if it’s the relationship or the other person. Struggling with your health, ask yourself if it’s your health or your diet, or your body. Separate the things that are in your control from the things that are not.
Sometimes it’s not even a desire for something different that’s holding us back. It’s a fear of change. The unknown is scary. It’s hard to commit to the idea of something when you don’t even know what that something is.
That’s why it’s so important to ask yourself the right questions. Notice the questions that bring you the answers you need, and steer clear of the ones that lead to more questions.
7. Feeling Stuck is A Strong Signal to Change Something
Obviously, there are some instances where you are actually stuck. If you’re in a dead-end job, a bad relationship, a ghetto neighborhood, or simply deep in debt, you’re going to have to make a change. Sometimes you need to get out of town.
But a lot of the times when you feel stuck, you don’t actually need to change the place you live or the job you have. You need to change the way you think about what you have. It’s not easy to get out of your own way, but if you can reframe the way you see your situation, you’ll never be stuck again.
8. Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes
If you are going to change, you have to make some changes. As I’ve said before, if you want a different result, you have to change your behavior.
It’s easy to blame other people or the situation, get angry, sad, or frustrated. It’s easy to sit in the same routine and do the same old thing over and over again. But if you want to feel differently, you have to start feeling differently.
If you want to be happy, make happiness your goal. You want to feel good about yourself? act as if you already do. If you want to be motivated, do something that motivates you.
Putting your hand in the same hole again and again and expecting different results is a mere delusion.
9. The Smallest of a Change Can Be a Kickstarter
When you’re stuck, it’s hard to feel motivated. And without motivation, you feel even more stuck. It’s a vicious cycle. But it’s one that can be broken.
When you’re feeling stuck, it’s vital to take action, even if it’s small. Just as it’s easier to move if you’re moving forward, it’s easier to feel motivated if you’ve already taken action.
So take the plunge. Do something. It doesn’t have to be earth-shaking. Just get moving. You can try helping someone, sharing a meal with a hungry, sitting with a homeless for a chat. All these seemingly trivial actions can induce positive change.
10. Remember, You’re Not Alone
As you know, I’ve been having a hard time. There have been times when I’ve felt like giving up. When I thought that I was the only one struggling and that the things happening to me were my fault, things starting getting even worse.
When you’re struggling or going through a hard time, it’s easy to forget that we’re all in this together. It’s easy to forget that we’re all going through our own struggles and our own hard times.
But the truth is that we’re not alone. And when I forget this, I feel even more alone. And the feeling of being alone makes me feel even more stuck.
11. Believe That You Will Get Through This
Don’t kid yourself. There are times when life sucks. It’s unfair, painful., sad, gut-wrenching. But you can’t let it suck forever. You can’t let it control you forever. You have to believe that you will get through it. Believe that you will find a path, an exit, a way out. Believing is so powerful that it can automatically set the stage for change. Remember that when you believe, you are already half the way there.
12. Avoid the Comparison Trap
The comparison trap is one of the most common things that will stop you from getting back on track. Comparison is a form of judgment, and judgment takes you out of the present moment and into a place of negativity.
Don’t allow yourself to judge others or yourself for what you’re doing or not doing. You will find yourself comparing your life to someone else’s and that leads to a dangerous place.
Comparison is a dangerous beast. It can subvert your self-worth, so don’t go there. Instead, focus on you. Focus on what you want and what you’re doing to get to where you want to be.
13. Move, Move, And Move
When you’re stuck, sometimes it’s helpful to just get up and move. Take a walk. Hit the gym. Go for a drive, or write. Do something that gets you out of your head and into your body.
Sometimes we need to do something, anything, to break free from our own mental clutches. Sometimes we need to move our bodies, to feel our physical selves, to know that we are here, alive and breathing.
14. Tell Someone How You Feel
Sharing your feelings with someone you love and trust can help you work through your feelings, and get back to feeling good. When you’re feeling stuck, or overwhelmed, or hopeless, it’s hard to see past your emotions. It’s hard to see clearly.
You need someone to help you see. So tell someone. Share your fears. Share your pain. But make sure that you don’t express your feelings to any random friend or a family member. Talk to one who you think can understand your situation, can possibly give a helping hand.
15. Nothing Seems Working? Seek Professional Help
Do you have a family doctor or a family counselor? When things go wrong it’s easy to want to fix them yourself. It’s a sign of strength and independence to want to struggle through life as your own superhero. Unfortunately, your own superpowers will always be limited. If you’re going through something difficult right now, it’s probably because you’re human.
It’s not a sign of weakness or failure to admit that you need help. Just like you’d call in a plumber if your pipes were clogged, or a mechanic if your car had stalled, or a lawyer if you found yourself in a legal bind, don’t be ashamed to call on a professional counselor.
What a great, detailed advice. Thank you so much.